Ta da! The ring is here-woo hoo! It is even better in person-I can't stop looking at it. Most of the people at work know now (because, well, I keep sticking my ring in everyone's face). I really want to tell my dad, but Chris and I haven't worked out how we are going to tell him. I don't want to wait much longer, because he should be one of the first people to know.
I want to elope. Getting the rest of the world to go along with this apparently is not going to be as easy as I thought. I know my parents really won't be too put off by me not having an actual wedding, but Chris thinks his dad might want to attend. That just puts a whole new spin on things. There are two big reasons I want to elope: money and my parents.
The money part is obvious: I would much rather spend $1500 on an amazing elopement for the two of us than say 5-10,000 dollars on a full wedding. Because if we do have a full wedding, it will be large because my side of the family is huge. Chris thinks we could just have a small wedding with just our parents and his sister and grandparents, but this leads to my second problem...
My parents and my stepmother. My parents do not even remotely like each other and my stpemother hates my mother. Now I know they would all behave for my sake on the big day, but the thing is I won't be comfortable. The thought of being in a intimate setting with all three of them there actually make me nauseous. I really don't need the pain of my teenage years being thrust in my face on my wedding day.
And to top it all off, I am excited to actually set a date. I desperately need something in my life to look forward to. Chris, in his current mental state, has no enthusiasm for this. So it has kind of sucked all the wind from my sails.
Man, I see how people turn into Bridezillas! It totally takes over your mind! All I can think about is WEDDING. Please shoot me, now....
4 comments:
Oh yeah, I can totally relate to what you're saying, Ellie. When my birth mother was alive, my birth father hated her with a passion. (Maybe still does?) Even my grandparents who raised me didn't get along with either of my birth parents...though my dad was their son. There was a lot of damage that had occured over the years in their super complicated relationships. It was very tense.
We ended up having a small ceremony that included only about 20 members of his very large family and about that many of my friends. I didn't invite my family at all. Later, I had one of the nicer pictures of us exchanging vows blown up and I framed one for each of my parents. At that time I'm not so sure my grandparents were all that thrilled about our nuptials, anyway, so I suspect they were relieved to be left out of the event.
We announced that we were getting married on like a Monday, and we got married on that following weekend. A lot of people weren't able to show up because of the late notice. I anticipated that and didn't hold it against anyone.
What we did is this: we asked people to not buy gifts for us. At the time, we were a young struggling couple with a 3 month old baby. (-Vs- us now...an older struggling couple with three older kids!) ;) What we did was ask the guests to use a skill they had to help make our wedding a success. My mother-in-law made refreshments and our two-tiered cake. (She's a caterer.) She outdid herself, and was excited to do it.
My friends decorated the venue. My pastor friend officiated the ceremony. One friend who was a budding photographer took pictures. Another friend altered a dress I had into a wedding dress. Three friends of mine hand assembled a fresh bouquet for me to carry. Still another one sang and provided music.
The wedding turned out lovely, and I'm never sorry we went that route. I think it ended up costing us a few hundred dollars at most, because we rallied our troups.
A wedding should be a happy time, not a stressful one. Like your Mr. Sunshine movie inspired you: it's your choice to let this be a happy experience, or a dreadful one. Don't let these outside influences put a damper on what should be simply a celebration of your love and dedication to one another.
Okay, I'm off my soapbox now. :) I think I may be getting carpal tunnel just from typing that comment alone! Geez! Sorry about that! Good luck with all of this! :)
P.S.
That is an awesome ring! Woo-hoo! ;)
i think eloping is a wonderful idea...invite his dad and wife and then send them home afterwards and enjoy the honey moon...that's the best part usually anyway...that's just my opinion...you do what you have to...the ring is absolutely gorgeous!! congratulations!!
Thank you both for the congratulatory comments! Thanks for the other advice, too. I really don't know what to do, but I'm sure it will all work out in good time.
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