Saturday night was wonderful and thankfully went off without a hitch. We had a great meal at the Water Street Cooker and some great wine from Kittling Ridge back at home. The next couple of hours were spent doing things not fit to print (let's just say my new lingerie went over well) and then some pumpkin cheesecake for dessert. I got Chris the new X-Men legends game and his own Jessica Alba action figure to lust over (this gift was met with much rolling of the eyes). I got a box of Walker's Chocolate Mint Meltaways (yummy!) and Neverwinter Nights Diamond for my puter.

Then Sunday rolled around and I felt like I'd been hit by a load of bricks. This ridiculous wave of depression swept over me and I spent most of the day curled up in bed, sobbing. I think having such a great night alone with Chris made me so bloody upset because we get them so rarely. The thought of my mother coming back and how stunted my life has become really got to me. Chris is very concerned about my mother's place in our future and I am terrified I will be the one to lose out eventually, as this may ultimately be a big reason for him not wanting to marry me. And right now, that is the only dream I have, so doubting that it will come true has made me feel terrible.

I am feeling VERY overwhelmed right now. I'm not sure if things are really that bad, or if I just can't handle things very well right now. Chris's mental state is really poor right now, and I just can't figure out anything I can do to help. He is taking medication (which is only making him more depressed) and seeing a psychiatrist, but I am really worried about the downward turn his moods have taken and the worsening of his apathy. Not helping matters is the constant presence of my mom, so we rarely get any time alone together anymore. I no longer feel the urge to throttle my mother on a daily basis, but the situation is still stressful. The birds are in nasty moods, with Gypsy laying eggs continually. Work blows, per usual, but at times I would almost feel better staying here than going home. I am flat broke after blowing hundreds of dollars on Christmas gifts ( I don't even have enough money for any lunch today!). I keep telling myself things have got to brighten up, but boy it is taking forever in coming. One happy note is Chris and I are celebrating our 7th anniversary on Saturday...please let that night go off without a hitch...that's all I ask.