8:39 AM

7 days left in the lower pit of automobile service hell...I managed to talk my boss into only having to be downstairs for 3 hours, so it's not as bad as it could have been.

Chris is still horribly sick. I haven't seen him since Sunday, so that has me going into sweetie withdrawal. He sounds like a frog and I'm guessing he will lose his voice today or tomorrow (which sucks since the only communication we have right now is the telephone). I just really don't want to get sick, so I can't risk seeing him til he's starting to get better, but I miss him.

I barely got any sleep last night, so I feel like a zombie today. One of my coworkers was talking about how much stuff she was buying her baby granddaughter for Christmas. She just has so much enthusiasm for being a grandma (Madison is simply adorable, so I really can't blame her). My mother, on the other hand, has told me repeatedly that I should never have children because I don't have enough patience to handle it. Not to mention my mom really doesn't like kids much. My father barely registers my existence, let alone any future offspring. So this had my wheels turning most of the night. Chris and I are up in the air about having children-we currently don't have plans to have any, but won't dismiss the idea altogether. It just really irks me when my mother says that to me. I don't have patience-this from a woman who would smack me with the hairbrush and then break the brush on the sink when my hair wouldn't do what she wanted it to or would throw a chair off the balcony in one of her fits of rage. I can be an impatient person, but I also managed to have enough patience to look after 30 screaming school age children for 5 hours every day for 6 years. Obviously not the same as parenting, but enough to give you wide exposure to the delights of children and their behaviours. It's something I shouldn't let bother me, but it does. Plus Chris' sister got on his back about not having kids last week, so that kind of stirred everything up...

2 comments:

Kristi K. said...

Why do people say such hurtful things to others? Is it to make them feel better about themselves? That's my only theory.

Brush smacking must have been the "in" thing when we were growing up. I can relate to that story, big time.

I bet you're really just feeling plain ole lonely right now without getting to see Chris. I'm sorry you had a sleepless night, but I can imagine how hard it was to process those comments. I hope Chris feels better soon.

Whether or not you have children should be a personal decision...entirely yours. I wouldn't trade mine for the world, but I know I'd have a lot less stress (and a whole heck of a lot more money!) if I didn't have kids.

Kids do test parental patience, (especially teenagers!) but I know you would be a great mom if you decided to have kids. How much fun would it be having a mom reading X-men comics with?!?! I mean, cmon! ;)

Hang in there!

neicybelle said...

ellie, it's totally your decision, hon...it's so different when they're your own kids...and because of your mom and dad, you will make sure your kids have an awesome mom and dad...

i'm sorry chris is so sick...here's hoping he gets better soon!