Let's do a Friday dance...

Another week survived. This has been my worst week at work in at least 4 years here. I have been overcome by ridiculous expectations and am at a loss for what to do. Finding another job that pays even close to this will be very hard (and considering how little I make now, it really is depressing). There are days when I could go back and take my fifteen-year-old self and seriously kick her ass.

You see, I'm a high school dropout. My parents split up when I was 14 and I had a really tough time dealing with it. It changed me, made me reclusive, nervous and socialphobic. And this was right when I started high school. I couldn't hack the social pressure-the work was a complete joke but I couldn't stand all the crowds, noise, etc.

So I decided I just couldn't do it. I got up one morning during my third week of grade 9 and took half a bottle of Tylenol with about 10 oz of vodka. I headed off to school to await the effects. Needless to say, halfway through band class I had to rush to the bathroom and vomit. I was sent home and was dreadfully ill for a couple of weeks (I never told anyone what I had done, so they just assumed it was the flu or mono). I got better and my parents assumed I had gone back to school-I did not. I stayed home or hid out behind the house when Mom was on nights. The school assumed I was still sick. Eventually my guilt got the better of me and I confessed to my parents. I was sent back to school with my movements being monitored. I managed to catch up in two weeks for midterm exams and scored 100% on three of my four midterms.

But I still couldn't handle it. I started skipping again. I would take ringer off the phone so when they called my mom wouldn't hear it. I would steal the notes left in the mailbox by the truant office. One day, my mom beat me to the mailbox. She figured it was my marks or something from the board of ed-nope, it was a notice that my parents would be taken to court if I didn't get my butt back in school. Of course, my parents freaked. I was dragged back to school kicking and screaming but it was decided that an alternate program might be more suitable for me.

I started at Lawrence Alternative Program just before my 15th birthday. It was great, you signed yourself in and out, didn't get in trouble for being late-the place was a joke. I got in with a delightful group of kids and delved deep into the world of smoking, drinking and sex. I dated a small-time drug dealer, wasted all my work wages on cigarettes and booze and managed to earn zero credits in one year. They kicked me out and my mom moved me away just prior to my 16th birthday. This was the end of my high school career.

I went back part-time when I was 17 and earned my math and English credits but being on my own made working a priority. I eventually got my GED when I was 22 and had to laugh when I scored higher on the tests than 95% of high school graduates who completed the same tests (that's how they created the benchmark-by comparing your scores to graduates scores).

So that is the long winded story of why I didn't finish high scool. Even though I have gotten a ton of diverse job experience in the past 15 years, not having a proper education really limits your career opportunities out there. Hence why I feel stuck in my current job.

Sorry I rambled on, but it was one of those days where I felt like telling a story. Have a great weekend!