Jeff Foxworthy On Ontario
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 " of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you live in Ontario.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Ontario.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Ontario.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialled a wrong number, you live in Ontario.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE ONTARIAN IF:
1. "Vacation" means going south past London for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and then back again.
5. You can drive 110 kph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are all filled.
8. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
9. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
10. Down south to you means Windsor.
11. Your 1st of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
12. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
13. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
14. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Ontario friends, you live in Ontario.
8:34 AM
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2 comments:
lol!! he has someting like this for folks here in illinois...it's funny because you can relate to what he says...thanks for the smile!
Haha! Some of these are Ohioan stuff, too. ;) Especially the 'filling in pot holes' and switching from heat to a/c and back in the same day. ;)
I do remember going on a weekend trip to Detroit one February. I was standing on the bank of the Detroit river, the icy cold wind blowing across my face, as I tried to take pictures of the massive ice chunks floating on the river's surface. I said to myself, "Why on earth would anyone from Ohio go NORTH in the winter time? This is worse than Ohio!" There was only one reasonable explanation for me being there: A scrapbooking convention. :)
Ellie, I hope you're feeling better and that your nasty cough has subsided. I'm thinking of ya!
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