Whew. Only one more work day to go this week. It has definitely been a week of Mondays, Kris. Month end has been brutal and I know the data analysis and reports that I have to do over the next week aren't going to be much better. But at least the month is over with.
Chris has been brutally sick with a delightful mixture of really bad allergies and a cold, so I have been avoiding him over the last couple days as I really don't want to get sick. When I was there on Tuesday for his belated birthday dinner he could barely function as he was sneezing and his nose was running so bad. Poor baby.
(As an aside, it is really hard to concentrate on writing your blog when you have a cockatiel chewing on your ear. Very distracting...)
I am off to mom's this weekend for a visit. We will roll Mother's day and her birthday (May 29th) into one. I can't afford it but I will probably take her out for dinner. I am really dreading the drive, but it has been over a month since I have seen her and she's getting antsy for a visit.
(Now try writing with another cockatiel attacking your neck and a budgie crawling all over your chest. Bloody hell)
I haven't been posting much lately and I apologize. It's just been a really hard time right now. And I feel like all I do is whine when I come on here...but I literally have no where else to vent my frustrations. And right now I feel frustrated as hell.
I have no idea how the heck we are going to pay for this wedding. It's 11 months away so my father is taking his sweet fricking time talking to me about it. I just want to know a) how many people is he going to make me have at this thing and b) is he forking over any money to help. I swear, I would sleep so much better at night if this one little thing could be cleared up.
Chris is not getting any better. His psychiatrist is a bloody moron who is nothing better than an overpaid drug dealer. No talking, no cognitive behaviour therapy, no nothing. Chris has been seeing this guy for two years and has just gotten worse. SSRI's don't seem to do a damn thing for him and this doctor just has no exercises or suggestions. And getting a new shrink is really hard due to the 4-6 month waiting period. The whole plan for the next year was based on Chris at least being able to go to school in the fall and I'm not sure if that is even going to happen if his condition doesn't improve. And then I really don't know what we will do.
And then I have been feeling really bad about myself. I have tried to reconnect with 4 friends that I had fallen out of touch with over the past few years. I have pursued it, made lots of contact but after an initial response from them-NOTHING. Am I really not worth the effort for someone to reconnect with? Am I that big of a loser? It certainly makes you wonder.
Sorry, I have rambled and complained enough for one post. I hope you all are doing well and enjoying this hot weather.
Holli, your attitude in the midst of what is going on in your life is amazing. You keep your faith no matter what and that is so admirable. Keep strong and take care of yourself.
And now I am off to wash the freaking bird poop off my shoulder. How delightful.
5:53 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Oh, Ellie... I am so glad you posted and gave us a glimpse into what's going on in your world! Never, ever apologize for sharing your heart, okay?
I just want to say how much you mean to me personally, though we've never met in person. I consider you such a dear friend and one of the coolest people I know.
Those "friends" that you tried to reconnect with that haven't followed up: it's terribly sad for them, because they are missing out on such a great person. Getting to know you over the last year or so is one of my life's greatest treasures! I'm so glad I found you through neicy's blog and decided to comment on your post about your mom. I felt such a sense of kinship with you after I read what you said.
You know, I have found myself having to give up on some of the people in my life over the years. Sometimes we give, give, give and get nothing in return...and that's when we should realize that it's better to have a few good friends who are loyal than many fair weather friends.
I also know and understand your struggle with Chris' illness and with finances. These are issues I deal with on a daily basis. I think you do very well given your circumstances.
I wish I were there so we could sit down with a cup of coffee and just talk about all that's on your mind. In the meantime, you are continually in my thoughts and prayers. You are very important to me and I appreciate our friendship deeply.
With hugs over the miles...
P.S. You know, maybe your bird just wanted to buy your shirt...you know, it was leaving you a deposit.
HA! Get it?! Leaving you a deposit!
Oh boy. That was corny. ;)
Corny, yes, but it made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the giggle!
bird poop on my shoulder makes me happy!
bird poop in my eyes can make me cry!
bird poop on the water looks so lovely!
bird poop almost always makes me high!
(sung to the tune "sunshine on my shoulders...john denver)
i love you! thank you for being my friend!!
Oh you ladies are SO SO SO funny!
Sweetie, we are here to vent to, that's why we are your TRUE friends! You are worth the effort and I can't wait to meet you one day. We are going to have a blogger union with all of us that are so intricatlly (totally mispelled) connected!
I TOTALLY understand the finances. We are so broke and this summer with daycare costing us so much and gas prices we are just so broke. All I want is to order a stinking pizza and can't afford to do that!
I will add Chris to my prayer list (you of course were already on it).
And thanks so much for the comments! The fact that I have you all is such a wonderful help to me!
Post a Comment