Drowning...

Do you ever feel like you are drowning in the turmoil of your life? That's how I feel right now.

My job...a couple of months ago, my manager approached me regarding some restructuring he was proposing to the ownership here at the dealership. His plan was to eliminate the 2nd sales manager position and elevate me to Assistant Sales Manager, working directly under him. We had numerous conversations about the challenges of the job and areas I would have to work on to excel in the position...all of which I was totally gung-ho for. I was more than up for the challenge, as my current administrative position is getting limiting in regards to learning new skills. My manager had spoken to our owner about his plan and he seemed to think I could do the job with the necessary training and guidance.

So...when the restructuring plan was put before our newly minted general manager (son-in-law to the owner), he agreed with all of my manager's suggestions in the plan...except me. He did not think I was capable of managing the sales staff and working car deals and wants to move me to an even more monotonous administrative position. I felt like a ten ton boulder had been dropped on me. I'm disappointed, disillusioned, and pretty damn angry. Why even present this opportunity to me when the general manager isn't backing me? Why get my hopes up? Is it fun to make someone feel like they've been kicked in the gut and had all the wind taken out of them? And to pass me the drivel that this move to the other admin position is a positive one, and shows how much the company values me. Bullshit. If they valued me, they would have given me a shot at the assistant manager's position...given me an opportunity to prove myself.

So now I'm trying to figure out what the hell I should do. Do I stay with the company I've been with for 8 years and do I job I have no interest in doing? Or do I take the risk of moving elsewhere? I really don't know...

My personal life is another ocean of chaos that I'm trying to stay afloat on. Uncertainty is reigning supreme there as well, and it's taking a major toll on me.

I know we are all going through such tough times right now...my biggest hope is that the friends I love weather this storm and have sunnier days ahead :)