Hide in a hole and hibernate. But I guess that's not a realistic solution, is it?
This past month and a half have just been horrible. The cancellation of the wedding has hit me really hard, a lot harder than I am letting on to anyone around me. I shipped off my wedding dress and jewellery today that I managed to sell on Ebay..that was heartbreaking, I adored that dress. I remember posting the pictures of it on here and being so excited...I feel like all my enthusiasm and excitement has been sucked out of me like a deflated balloon.
I should have known...I really should have known. This was the first happy, exciting thing to happen in our lives for years...I'm talking years overshadowed by sadness and disappointment and heartbreak...so I should have known it was too good to be true. I kept trusting that things would get better, that my positivity could push us forward, that working together towards having a happy life would make it easier. I feel so foolish, so incredibly foolish. I am a pessimist at heart, but I was so optimistic about this one thing. I always say expect the worst so you won't be disappointed...I failed to heed my own advice on this one.
But we learn from our mistakes. We build walls, we become more guarded, less trusting. It's such a shame, but necessary to emotionally keep ourselves together...
3:45 PM
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2 comments:
You should talk to my friend, Sheila. Her philosophy is, "If you don't expect anything good to ever happen, you won't be hurt when it doesn't."
As a born optimist, I always think, "Yes, that was bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. But tomorrow is a new day and things will get better. It has to get better."
Sometimes my optimism gets on my own nerves. There are times when I don't think I can take one more crushing blow. Life is so hard sometimes.
I am saddened that you're feeling so wounded and are in such pain right now.
I'd give my eye teeth to abracadabra your pain away. I'd love nothing more than to wave a magic wand and "poof!" make it better.
But what sucks is that I can't. I can only sit back and offer my love and encouragement.
All I can do is say, "You know if you need me, I'm here."
Until then, you're in my daily thoughts.
I love you.
leah...i'm so sorry...i didn't know you had posted this here...i didn't know you had sold your dress...there's no hope for someday?
you know i'm here for you...you know i would do anything i could for you...and you know i love you too...
*hugs*
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