Mom has undergone two ECT treatments as of yesterday. There is an improvement in her general mood, but absolutely no difference in the psychosis. She still is delusional so it will be interesting to see if any further ECT seesions help or if the psychiatrist will have to look down a different avenue for treatment. She is still adamant about not returning to her apartment, but she sure as hell is not moving back in with me. The previous seven-month visit damned near drove me over the edge myself and I can't be put in that situation again. Sooner or later my wellbeing has to come before hers.

It's going to be a long work week as I have to work Saturday (with Richie the nimrod to top it off). Then I'll head out to Brantford after work on Saturday for another visit with Mom. I may elect to not even get out of bed on Sunday with how wiped out I am feeling. I hate taking something to help me sleep, but I may not have a choice soon.

I haven't been to the comic book store in over three weeks, so it should be about $60 by the time I walk out of there. Which is good thing, since at least I'll have lots to read while I lie in bed on Sunday.

Yesterday was a heck of a lot of fun. We met with mom and her psychiatrist to discuss the ECT treatments. I was still up in the air about it, but I also wasn't too thrilled with the cocktail of drugs she would be on as the other option (lithium, risperidone, effexor and remeron). After meeting with my mother on her own, however, it became glaringly apparent that she needs serious help quickly.

Her mental state has actually deteriorated since entering the hospital-she thinks "they" have followed her to the hospital, that she wants to hire private investigators because she is being "framed", the chocolates Chris brought her had been tampered with so she threw them out...it goes on. She wanted to undergo the treatment and Chris and I agreed that would probably stand a better chance of success, not to mention work quicker, which is important given the extreme mental duress she's under. So we left at 6:00, with her in okay shape and me coming back to visit Sunday (my cousins are coming Saturday to keep her company that day).

At about 8:15 last night, my phone rings. It's Mom, and she wants out of the hospital NOW. The other patients are "out to get her", abusing her and the nursing staff are all in on it. She demanded I come get her and when I refused she hung up on me. Five minutes later, she calls again, demanding I call the police and get her out. I tell her no, that she needs to be there to get help but there is absolutely no reasoning with her in this state. She pretty much told me off and said it was nice knowing me and hung up.

That's the last I have heard from her. I am afraid she will start refusing treatment. I spoke with her nurse this morning and so far she is refusing to leave her room and being quite difficult. I will have to check with the psychiatrist this afternoon to make sure the ECT is still scheduled for Monday. If things don't settle down soon, I may end up in the room next to her.

I so beyond stressed out right now. I haven't gotten a decent night's sleep since Mom went into the hospital on Friday, so I am starting to fray a little at the edges. And with the 200 km return trip the hospital, all my money is being sucked into my gas tank so food is a little scarce as well. Hopefully I can manage to get in a good dinner tonight after the meeting.

We meet with the psychiatrist this afternoon, as his recommended treatment at this point is electroconvulsive therapy. This scares the hell out of me, no matter how much I read about it. Mom seems to be okay with it and so is Aunt Lois. I am just waiting to hear back from Uncle Al, as he visited her last night and was going to read the literature the doctor left about ECT. My major concern is he will want to do bilateral ECT, which is the most harmful to your memory, although it has the better success rate. Perhaps scared was an understatement-I am bloody terrified about having her undergo this procedure. I realize it is a much safer procedure now than it was years ago (anyone remember One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?), but it still freaks me out. If we all agree to the treatment, she'll have her first session Monday morning, then repeating on Wednesday and Friday for at least a couple of weeks.

For someone who tends to avoid her family (aside from my parents) this week has been strange because I have had to speak with my relatives on a regular basis. I barely know these people anymore, having barely seen my mom's side of the family in the last 12 years. It's very strange, because I feel so disconnected from them yet we are talking about something as intimate as my mother's treatment and well-being. Sometimes I wish I had a family like Chris', that is comprised of all of 11 people (that's both sides!), including himself. I have 7 uncles and 17 cousins alone on my dad's side, so my family is freaking huge. Which is probably why I avoid them, because I hate large social gatherings. I will probably regret it someday, but I can't concern myself with it right now.

It has officially been four of the worst days EVER.

My mother had to be admitted to the psych ward after I took her to the psychiatrist's Friday afternoon. She had been extremely paranoid all week and was having auditory delusions (ie. hearing people talking about her, laughing at her, whistling although she was alone in her apartment). The doctor admitted her Friday night and I don't think I have ever felt so horrible when I had to leave her there. She looked so scared. Since being at the hospital, they have started giving her anti-psychotics, which should help with the delusions-she is hearing "them" (these mysterious people who are out to get her) at the hospital, especially in the quiet of her room. It's very frightening.

So Chris' birthday was a bust, although dinner turned out nicely. X-Men 3 was really good, but not as good as the 2nd movie. Lord of the Rings was fantastic-amazing sets and imagery. But everything was overshadowed by the problems with my mom, so I really didn't enjoyit all as much as I would have liked.

Sure, now it's sunny and warm. Just wait, because I'm off on Friday it's going to piss down rain. It's Chris' birthday tomorrow, so I have to bake his carrot cake tonight and do some prep work for dinner. I'm making stuffed pasta shells and grilled portobello mushrooms. I'm taking him to the Nascar Speedpark at Vaughan Mills on Friday, so I really hope the weather cooperates. We go to see Lord of the Rings on Saturday, plus we are trying to squeeze in a midnight showing of X-Men The Last Stand. What a crazy week, but it's nice to be busy.

On the calendar, they really should put that the Victoria Day Weekend is utterly useless, as the weather always sucks and you can't do anything outdoors. To the many fools who went camping, I pity you (but with enough booze in you, I guess you wouldn't notice the cold). As always, it was cold and ridiculously windy all stinking weekend.

I went to my father's for a BBQ Saturday night (which we had to spend indoors) as a few of my aunts and uncles were visiting. We found out that my grandmother had been admitted to the hospital for blood loss after her angiogram (they discovered she had two ulcers which started bleeding profusely). A few hours later, her sister (my great-aunt Lois) was admitted with a major heart attack. I really didn't get any sense of urgency from anyone so I assumed Aunt Lois would be recovering. My father phoned me today to tell me she passed away Sunday morning. I was so shocked-I realize Aunt Lois was 82 but she maintained a pretty active lifestyle. She has been my grandma's rock since my grandfather passed away from Alzheimer's a couple of years ago. I feel so bad for Grandma, who is going to be a while recovering herself, as being a Jehovah's Witness she wouldn't take a blood transfusion (this drives me nuts, but I have to respect her decision and her faith). I hope she comes along okay.

The majority of my weekend was spent watching season 2 of Roswell. I'm almost done and can't wait to start season 3. The final Idol episodes are this week, so I can't wait to see who wins. My bets are on Taylor, as his personality is infectious and everyone seems to love him.

More rain! How delightful. I got absolutely soaked carrying my new air conditioner out of Home Depot this morning. Only $89! Can't beat that deal on a Maytag air conditioner. Because the hot weather will be here before we know it. Honest.

I finally got to see Chris last night after his excursion up to the cottage. He bought me the most gorgeous bouquet of hot pink chrysanthemums (sp?). I always miss him so much when he is away, so it was awesome to see him.

It was very sad to see Elliott go home last night. Hopefully some opportunities open up for him with that amazing voice of his. I will just die if Taylor wins-I really like him, but Simon will flip out if he has to market some gray-haired guy as the new Americal Idol.

I started reading the novelization of "X-men The Last Stand" last night. I know this will totally spoil the whole movie for me, but I just have to know what is going to happen. For all I know they will totally change the ending like they did with "X2" and I will still be surprised at the movie.

Blah. What a yucky weekend. I had to work Saturday, which was crazy because we were short on technicians. I bought Mom a microwave, Mr. Clean magic wand and Swiffer sweeper for her birthday/Mother's Day. I also took her grocery shopping, and not surprisingly she did not have enough money for them so that cost me $70 out of pocket. I don't mind helping her out, but she needs to manage her money a little better at times. I miss Chris- I despise it when he goes away. I taped Trailer Park Boys for him, so that should make him happy. I picked him up the fifth season of TPB on DVD for his birthday. I can't say I'm a huge fan of the show, although Ricky cracks me up. Four more days till the long weekend!!

Okay, I had to run around like a chicken with its head lopped off this morning to get a certified check and have it to my insurance brokers this morning for 9:00 am. Damn you straight to hell, Sunoco, for doing this to me. The damned ceritifed cheque cost $10, plus I had to spend $10 on the adorable little teddy bear they were selling in the bank for Children's Miracle Network (okay, maybe I didn't have to, but it was darn cute).

I've scheduled my appointment to write my test for Georgian College/OMVIC on Monday, so I better get my ass in gear and study. I'm not quite sure what I will do with my certification, but at least it's something else under my belt.

I found out our new receptionist slash sales managers' slave-girl has a higher bloody salary than mine, so I am royally pissed about that. I may have to talk to our GM, as I haven't worked here 5 years to be out-paid by this woman.

I have to work tomorrow, which sucks. I so need to sleep in. Sunday won't be remotely relaxing as I will be running Mom about most of the day. At least next weekend is the long weekend.

Okay, did you know when you pay with a credit card at gas pumps, they put a $100-125 hold on your card for 5 days? And this will completely fuck up any other transactions on your card if you are unaware of this authorization hold? Bloody bastards at the stations should be obligated to post this on the pumps so the public is AWARE of this. My insurance payment bounced and I think my damned insurance is going get cancelled. This is not making for a very good day.

It's pissing down rain, so that isn't helping my mood either. Chris is going up north until Tuesday, which really sucks as it was sprung on me unexpectedly. I hate it when he goes away, it sets me on edge. At least my time will be occupied this weekend with working Saturday and Mother's Day on Sunday.

I warned Chris I may have to ditch him for my local comic book store owner--he saved me a copy of the FCDB X-Men/Runaways comic, so that was very cool. The last issue of Deadly Genesis came out, which tied everything up about the thrid Summers brother pretty well. Only two more weeks until the X-men movie and Lord of the Rings!!

No more Chris on "AI"!!! I was so shocked to see him voted off. I thought for sure Katherine was going home. I was thankful Elliott did well in the voting, but I am shell-shocked about Chris. With his talent, hopefully Fuel with come through with their offer to make him lead singer.

No more Paris. I was sad to see her go, but it definitely was not a surprise. I took Mom out shopping again last night to look at TVs and furniture. Not knowing I would be going out last night, I wore my new suede pumps and I swear my feet are going to bloody well fall off today. I think I'm going to pass on the comic book store this week, as Deadly Genesis 6 is out next week and I might as well wait for that. I'm debating picking up the recent issues of Y:TLM, but sticking to the trade paperbacks makes them a heck of a lot easier to store ( just the titles I'm picking up now seem to be taking up too much space!). I think I will go out on my lunchhour today and start cleaning the interior on my car-the previous owner kept the thing immaculate so I want to maintain the condition of my new baby.

Damn weekend went by waaaay too fast. Chris and I went mini golfing on Saturday, although the wind was a little frigid. I took Mom shopping at Walmart yesterday, where I think she bought half the flipping contents of the store. Spent the rest of my time cleaning house and doing laundry. Not very thrilling, to say the least. I am seriously flat broke until the 7th, so this should be a pretty uneventful week. "Idol" should be good this week, with each of the contestants performing two songs. I'm not sure who I want to win, since I really like Chris, Elliott and Taylor. I think Paris will go home this week, unless she does something spectacular tomorrow.

A few dollars at the comic book store? Yeah, right. It cost me $35 for 7 comics. This hobby can be bloody expensive. I was very happy that he tracked down Runaways #13 for me, though. I went to bed at 8:00 last night. I swear, this cold has kicked the living hell out of me. Thank god I rarely get sick. They laid off our shop foreman yesterday, as the department is losing money in a big way. I'm not sure if laying Mike off was a decent solution, but it certainly sets an ominous tone around here.

Dinner with Elizabeth went well last night. We had shrimp at Red Lobster and went shopping afterwards. She got me season2 of Roswell, Harry Potter & TGOF, two pairs of earrings, some candles and some candy. The car purchase has left me completely broke, so I think it's going to be a quiet couple of weeks, especially with Chris & Mom's birthdays coming up, as well as Mother's Day. I will have to spend a few dollars at the comic book store today though, as the new Astonishing X-men and Runaways come out today.

Well, Mom is all moved in to her new apartment. Now if I could just stay away from there for a while, life would be good. I hooked up her internet yesterday and already she's having computer problems so I can see this will be fun. I have been sicker than a dog since last Wednesday, so any scheduled alone time with Chris has gone all to hell. I might as well be a bloody nun. The new car is awesome--it is so great being mobile again without having to always rely on someone else. I'm having my birthday dinner with Elizabeth tonight so I'm looking forward to that.

Well, Sunday was the big day. I am now officially old. It went by without much fanfare, although Chris and I had a fabulous meal at Canyon Creek Chophouse. He got me tickets to the LOTR stage show, which sounds awesome. I have always wanted to go to a theatrical production like this, so I'm very excited. I bought a car this week and am just waiting for insurance confirmation so I can get the darn thing licensed. It's 1995 Honda Accord in mint condition. In other good news, Mom is moving out tomorrow into her new apartment downtown. I cannot wait to have my home all to myself again. It has been a long seven months of sharing 750 square feet with your mother.

Woot! I managed to score a vehicle for a week starting next Thursday, so I will be fully mobile once again. Just in time for the big 3-0, which is approaching at an alarming rate. Been a fun week at home, with some minor scuffles with my maternal roommate. Got my first 6 volumes of Fables and have read the first three. I must say, I really like this series and am glad I forked out the money for them. Off to my LCS for the first time in about three weeks, so I should have lots of reading ahead of me. I bought Daniel Powter's album off of Itunes and I just love it. Another talented Canuck!

TGIF! What a long week. I swear all the kooks have come out of the woodwork and it's not even a full moon! All in all, the week could have been worse. Mom paid for the groceries this week, so that was a load off my shoulders. She went to Brantford yesterday for an appointment, so Chris and I finally got some decent time alone together (alone time that actually went as planned for once). I am eagerly anticipating my latest shipment from Popular Comics-all the current trades of "Fables" and the newest Runaway trade. I am debating whether or not to attend either of the two Comicons coming up in Toronto. I can't say there is really anyone I'm itching to see, aside from Adrian Alphona. I'll have to see if Chris feels like going or not. Had a good week for issue summaries-I actually handed in three. No big plans for the weekend, although sleep is definitely on the agenda.

Mondays stink. My phone has rung off the hook all day. I had a pretty quiet weekend-we went for a walk on Saturday since the weather was so nice and I made some awesome fajitas for dinner. Sunday was a dull day of watching TLC, laundry and organizing the ridiculous amount of comic books lying around the house.

It has basically been the week from hell. The company launching our outgoing automated calls have made three major fuckups this week and I have had to pay for each of them, since it's my voice on the recordings. We are making no money in the department right now, so my bonus sucked big time. My mother has managed to download a shit load of spyware and a possible virus onto my brand new computer at home. Plus we are supposed to be going up north on Saturday, but Chris' dad won't decide until that morning, so I'm left hanging in the air about what we are doing. Personally, I would be content curling up in bed and not getting out for the entire weekend, but no such luck. The only happy news-no more Brenna on "Idol". Woohoo!