Hee...brave little penguin...

Darn internet keeps crashing here at work. How am I supposed to surf, messenger and basically get no work done :p

The clinic was a bit of a nightmare. First, there was horrible winds and rain so I had a few no-shows. Then we had the worst customer EVER. Let's call him Mr. Butthead (I can think of much more colourful names for this guy, but I will spare you my profanity). Mr. Butthead comes in and grunts at me in way of a greeting. He then walks up to the presentation table where the items are for the door prizes. Mr. Butthead proceeds to take one of the hats and sits down with it. When another customer looked at him strangely, Mr. Butthead snarls "I pay $40000 for car, I keep hat". Then throughout the next two hours, Mr. Butthead interrupts our speaker a zillion times, complaining about problems with his Onstar, oil change issues and his general negative opinion about everythng (all in crotchety broken English). I was never so happy to see the back of someone on their way out the door. Our presenter, who does 3-4 clinics a week said that was the worst customer he has had to deal with in 10 years. Argh!

So I finally get out of work at 8:40 and head over to the drugstore to renew my prescription. I drop it off and the technician says it will be around 15 minutes. So I stroll around the store for 15 minutes. 20 minutes. 30 minutes. 40 minutes. My feet are absolutely killing me from running around for 8 hours and these group of kids are sitting in the chairs, so I can't even sit down to wait. Finally 45 minutes later it was ready. How freaking long can it take to slap somes labels on prepackaged drugs? Bah! Plus my mom was worried when I got home because I was gone so long and the weather was horrid.

But there was at least a little good news yesterday. The moronic twit that sits at our reception desk has finally decided to quit. Good riddance, I say. Let's hope they can actually hire someone competent this time around.

Hmm, I resemble this cat right about now...

Rain, rain go away...

Holy cow, is it miserable out. It is raining cats and dogs and isn't supposed to let up until Saturday. What is this, England?

Another sleepless night, due to it being too bloody hot in my bedroom and my mind just wouldn't shut off. I am wicked tired and in dire need of a nap. The urge to pull a George Costanza and sleep under my desk is overwhelming.

I have a car care clinic today, so I will be at work until 9:00 tonight. It will be a crazy day of running around, buying food and supplies, setting up tables and chairs, kicking people's butt to get them to clean out the showroom and shop. By the time the clinic hits, I usually look like a drowned rat from running about and sweating so much. The rain is not going to help with the drowned rat look either...

This one's for Neicy

Don't feed the animals...

This is Chris' sister's cat, Callie. We brought a huge bag of peanuts and kept putting nuts out on the deck. Callie had a blast watching the different animals that came to snatch up the nuts.

The chipmunk..

The squirrel...

and the blue jay.

There was also a deer mouse but he was way too quick for me to snap a picture.

I felt like crap but got some good pics...

This was on the way into the cottage Friday night. The water was like glass. Friday night was the Harvest moon, which was amazingly bright. My pictures of said moon look cruddy, so I will spare you their awfulness.


Saturday morning was sunny but crisp. Chris doesn't look too Canadian with that toque, eh?

Sunday was a truly beautiful day, warm and sunny. Unfortunately I spent most of it trying to nap.

The colours had changed on the trees about a week and a half ago, so the colours were pretty muted, which I was disappointed with. Ah, well. Mother Nature won't wait for you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

I don't know about you, but I needed a giggle...

Presenting Captain Bearway...

Sage advice from a feline...

For extra work I had done on a project for my general manager, he offered to pay for Chris and I to go out to dinner. I took him up on it last night and we went to the Bombay Grill. I have been slowly trying different eastern and mediterrean dishes, so I was excited to go to an Indian restaurant. Oh, man was it GOOD. We has mixed appetizers of samosas, aloo tikki (spicy potato fritters with curried chick peas) and pakoras (mixed veggie fritters). Yummy. Then Chris had roganjosh (sp?) chicken and I had butter shrimp, with nan and rice. Incredible food, plus I think anything tastes better when you don't have to pay for it :p

Chris' sister Sam and her fiance Ian came over last night. They just got back from Las Vegas and had some amazing pictures to show us. We also got some great gifts from them: Chris got a cool mug for his tea and a CSI long sleeved shirt. I got a stuffed bear wearing a Star Trek uniform, a ginormous mug from Quark's bar and a personalized Star Trek keychain (this was all from Star Trek: The Experience). I will have to post pictures tonight of the bear-he is so cute!

I have to sit down tonight and watch the first episode of Ugly Betty that a coworker taped for me, plus Chris taped the 2nd episode of Heroes for me when I was sick the other night. I am looking forward to watching both of them.

It looks like Sam has her heart set on making a full-blown turkey dinner up at the cottage this weekend, so that should be interesting. Turkey is not cottage food fare, in my opinion-too much hassle and fuss. Plus I am starting to feel a little guilty about leaving Mom alone for the weekend, but I had to figure if she was in her own apartment she would be doing her own thing anyway. That really doesn't make me feel much better about it, but I will just have to live with my guilt.

Ooh, have I got a doozy of a headache today. I think it stems from the delightful neckache I've had for the past few days. I really need to go see a massage therapist, but I am just to darn cheap to go. And a word of advice: do not go lifting multiple window air conditioners by yourself. My lower back feels like an elephant did a tapdance on it.

I finally got a hold of my grandmother and told her about the engagement. She was very happy and it was nice to talk to her. She lives about 3 hours away, so I basically see her about once a year, which sucks because she is an awesome woman. She is supposed to be coming down towards the end of the month to see the puppies at Dad's, so I can get in a visit then.

I had a pretty quiet weekend. I worked Saturday until 1:00 then headed out to Chris'. We went to Chapters and roamed around in there for a while and then had Chris' chili for dinner. Sunday was spent alternating between cleaning out my closet, moving the air conditioners and laundry.

There was a marathon of "How not to Decorate" on so I watched that in between my housework. The hosts, Colin & Justin were in Toronto this weekend, but I coulnd't be bothered going to the Home Show to see them. They are absolutely hilarious, though. If you don't know the show, it is about them going to the worst homes in Britain and giving them a total makeover. Colin and Justin are two very loud, blunt Scottish gay guys who do the decorating-they are just a riot.

This coming weekend is Thanksgiving here in Canada, so I am looking forward to the long weekend. We are probably going up to Chris' family's cottage, so it should be nice. Hopefully his sister's fiance doesn't drive us wacky with his incessant chatting and I hope the two of them don't get drunk, either. That would not make for a pleasant weekend.

And to Neicy: words cannot express how horrible I feel about what you went through this weekend. Please, please stay safe and strong and take care of yourself. I wish there was someway I could help you, but know that you are in my thoughts.

If only it could be that easy...

It's Friday, but I have to work again tomorrow so the week isn't quite at an end yet. It's been a horrid week at work, so I am anxious for it to be over with.

My mom got news from her social worker this week that they will probably have a place for her in November. That wasw at least a little bit of good news this week, even if it isn't anything definite. It hasn't been so bad having her at the apartment, but I guess it's easier this time since I have my car and can take off at will.

Otherwise, this has really just been an awful week, both professionally and personally. So here's to next week being a better one. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

This strip reminded me of most of my co-workers. Most of whom have been making my life at work a living hell over the past few weeks. Grrr.

We are having a catered luncheon today for our fleet manager, who is retiring. I will miss Bob, as he is a really good guy and the only competent manager on staff. A free lunch is always a good thing, especially when the company is paying for it :p

Our company just sold our sister dealership in Oakville, so tonight our social club is having a goodbye dinner for our member from that dealership, Nancy. We are going to Crabby Joe's for some food and drinks. I really hate this, as I will miss Nancy terribly. She's become a good buddy, so hopefully we can keep in touch. There are now only two of us on the social committee and Nicole is, well, a twit. Nice enough girl, but utterly useless so I am just dreading planning the upcoming year's events.

Had a really nice dinner last night-Chris made stuffed peppers, steak and baked potatoes. He also got me a rose and a card to try and cheer me up. I just wish I could get out of this funk...

I would say "woohoo, it's Friday", but I have volunteered to work the next two Saturdays so Friday doesn't mean much. The wedding will not pay for itself, especially since the budget has now doubled, so I'll have to try and earn any extra cash that I can.

I'm sorry I haven't posted much, I've been down in the dumps and not overtalkative in general. Hopefully next week will be better. Have a great weekend and Neicy, have a fabulous party! Wish I could come!

What's in your purse?

Okay, this is from over at Kristi's blog. This should be interesting because my purse weighs a ridiculous amount, so maybe there is more crap in there than I thought...

1. Bottle of Advil gelcaps

2. My car keys and house keys

3. My wallet

4. My digital camera and extra batteries

5. Hairbrush

6. Several crumpled receipts and paystubs

7. Pressed powder compact

8. Change purse with my birth certificate, and various other cards

9. My cell phone

10. Two hair clips

11. Pepto Bismol chewables

12. My prescription sunglasses and case

13. Oh look, another pressed powder compact

14. An old shopping list

15. A Papermate Dryline correction tape (how the heck did that get in there?)

16. 2 lip glosses and 3 lipsticks

17. 3 Pens

18. 1 lonely Halls cough drop

19. And two items I won't mention since, well, I am embarrassed.

20. A packet of those little papers you use to take the shine off your nose

Wow, and I was making fun of poor Kristi with all the stuff she had in her purse! No wonder the damn thing is as heavy as a brick...

Odd question survey

Apparently it's survey week, because this is the second one I've gotten so far and this one is huge! So prepare yourself for all the inane details, lol

Are your parents married or divorced? Divorced

Are you a vegetarian? No, but I like lots of vegetarian dishes

Do you believe in Heaven? No

Have you ever come close to dying? Luckily, no

What jewelry do you wear 24/7? My gold claddagh ring that Chris gave me for our 6th annv.

Are you eating? Yes, jalepeno Tostitos (healthy, I know)

Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Yep

Do you wear makeup? I own a ridiculous amount, but wear a minimal amount

Would you ever have plastic surgery? I don't think so

What do you wear to bed? My underwear

Have you ever done anything illegal? Yes, but nothing that other stupid teenagers haven't done

Can you roll your tongue? No

Do You have a boyfriend or girlfriend? A fiance

Do you believe in Abortions? I am pro-choice, but abortion is not a form of birth control

What is your Hair color? Naturally light brown. Currently dyed light auburn

Future child's name, boy and girl? Boy-Logan Girl-Rowan

Do you smoke? No

If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be? Scotland

Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Nope

If you won the lottery, what would you do first? Quit my bloody job

Gold or silver? Gold

Hamburger or hot dog? Yum, do I have to pick just one?

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Shrimp!!

City, beach or country? Country

What was the last thing you touched? My keyboard

Where did you eat last? At my desk

When's the last time you cried? Yesterday (this wedding crap is getting to me...)

Do you read blogs? Yep, Neicy's and Kristi's

Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? I doubt it

Ever been involved with the police? I was a witness in a murder trial once

What's your favorite shampoo/conditioner and soap? Pantene and Lavender Chamomile Body Wash

Do you talk in your sleep? How the heck would I know?

Ocean or pool? Pool

What's your favorite song at the moment? Baby Hold On by the Dixie Chicks

Have you ever had a cavity? One, when I was fifteen

Window seat or aisle seats? Window seats

Ever met anyone famous? No (Brad Pitt, where are you??)

Do you feel that you've had a truly successful life? Heck, no

Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Cut it (I suck at twirling)

What is your fav. sport to play? Is minigolf a sport?

Basketball or football? Basketball

Do you drive a stick? No

Cake or ice cream? Ice cream!!!

Are you self-conscious? Big time

Do you like any of your close friends? I should hope so!

Have you ever given money to a bum? Nope

Have you been in love? Yes

Where do you wish you were? At home sleeping

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Once, when I passed out during a panic attack at work

Can you tango? No, but that would be so cool to learn

Last gift you received? Flowers from Chris

What occasion did you recieve your gift? No reason, just to cheer me up

Last thing you spent lots of money on? My wedding dress

Where do you live? Stoney Creek, Ontario

Last wedding attended? My cousin Ryan's, about 4 years ago

Favorite restaurant? Kelsey's

What is your favorite kind of car? Honda Accord

Most hated food(s)? Brussel sprouts, onions, eggs

Most loved food(s)? Shrimp, pizza, steak, guacamole, cheesecake, pasta

Can you sing? So-so

Person on your mind? Chris

What's your least fav. chores? All of them?

Favorite drink? Cranberry & vodka

Currently have a Crush? Just on my honey

How long was your longest drive in a car? Sudbury (six hours)

Is it Friday yet??

Today is one of those days. You know, when you want to go postal on everyone because they are just bloody annoying. Chris' exact words were, "Man, you are TESTY today". Testy? Hah, that is the polite way for saying BITCHY.

The cause of this wondrous mood-no sleep. And why no sleep? Because wedding plans are getting more complicated by the minute. But I can't be completely selfish or I will truly be a Bridezilla. Looks like we are going to have a small wedding instead of eloping. Chris' dad and sister were pretty upset at the notion of not being able to attend and I can empathize with them. Their family is so small now with Chris' mom gone and they rely on each other a great deal. So I can make concessions for that. So I have a guest list of 15 people (that is Chris' ENTIRE family plus my dad, stepmother, mother, grandmother and 3 close friends). This small group is still going to screw with my budget, but hopefully my dad and Chris' dad will at least kick in a bit of money to help out. WE had set a date of february 2008, but now with people coming, we don't want to do it in winter. So I am pushing for summer 2007 (I really don't want to wait until summer 2008-it's almost 2 years away!).

On the plus side, I found my dress! In case you didn't know, I am a huge Ebay junkie. I used to spend a ridiculous amount of money but now it's just a few purchases here and there when I find a great deal. So this dress is brand-new from Emme Bridal and retails for almost $700 US dollars. I won the auction last night--for $90!!! Woo hoo! The measurements are perfect and I think it will be wonderful for an intimate wedding (not too formal, but still feels like wedding dress to me) . I also got my jewellery and hair accessories. Ha! All I need is a venue and money to pay for it and I'm all set. Oh wait, I guess I need Chris there , too :P

The Dress

This was an email a former coworker sent me today and I thought it could be fun to post it here:

Four jobs I have had in my life:

1. Service Coordinator
2. Receptionist/Admin
3. School Age Childcare Supervisor
4. Cashier

Four movies I have watched over and over:

1. Star Wars
2. Beverly Hills Cop
3. X-Men
4. Finding Nemo

Four places I have lived:

1. Burlington, Ontario
2. Hamilton, Ontario
3. Stoney Creek, Ontario
4. Ancaster, Ontario (these are all within 15 minutes of each other)

Four TV shows EI enjoy watching:

1. CSI
2. Star Trek (all except Enterprise)
3. Buffy & Angel
4. American Idol

Four places I have been on vacation:

1. Orlando (when I was ten)
2. Cottage Country, Ontario
3.
4. (I need to get a life apparently...)

Four of my favorite foods:

1. Shrimp!!
2. Spicy Guacamole and fresh Salsa (yum!)
3. Steak
4. Cheesecake

Four Places I would rather be right now:

1. Asleep in bed
2. Curled up on the couch with Chris
3. Playing with puppies
4. God, anywhere but work!

star wars audtions

I loved the Christopher Walken part (all it needed was "I need more cowbell")

Ta da! The ring is here-woo hoo! It is even better in person-I can't stop looking at it. Most of the people at work know now (because, well, I keep sticking my ring in everyone's face). I really want to tell my dad, but Chris and I haven't worked out how we are going to tell him. I don't want to wait much longer, because he should be one of the first people to know.

I want to elope. Getting the rest of the world to go along with this apparently is not going to be as easy as I thought. I know my parents really won't be too put off by me not having an actual wedding, but Chris thinks his dad might want to attend. That just puts a whole new spin on things. There are two big reasons I want to elope: money and my parents.

The money part is obvious: I would much rather spend $1500 on an amazing elopement for the two of us than say 5-10,000 dollars on a full wedding. Because if we do have a full wedding, it will be large because my side of the family is huge. Chris thinks we could just have a small wedding with just our parents and his sister and grandparents, but this leads to my second problem...

My parents and my stepmother. My parents do not even remotely like each other and my stpemother hates my mother. Now I know they would all behave for my sake on the big day, but the thing is I won't be comfortable. The thought of being in a intimate setting with all three of them there actually make me nauseous. I really don't need the pain of my teenage years being thrust in my face on my wedding day.

And to top it all off, I am excited to actually set a date. I desperately need something in my life to look forward to. Chris, in his current mental state, has no enthusiasm for this. So it has kind of sucked all the wind from my sails.

Man, I see how people turn into Bridezillas! It totally takes over your mind! All I can think about is WEDDING. Please shoot me, now....

The proposal...

Happy, happy, joy, joy...

I think we all have those moments where something just strikes you. An epiphany of sorts. Well, I had one two weeks ago while watchin Little Miss Sunshine. Greg Kinnear's character is a motivational speaker, who goes on about the difference between winners and losers, and some of his words really hit home. I have been so depressed about my relationship with Chris not moving forward, complaining about all the people around us who are engaged, getting married, etc. But who am I to complain and be depressed when I am not doing anything myself to move our relationship along? Why should the responsibility be on Chris to propose? Soooooo.....

On Saturday, we went to the Water Street Cooker, which is one of our favourite restaurants and where we normally go for our anniversary. Earlier, I had stopped by the restaurant and given them a personalized pewter beer stein to serve Chris his beer in (as he will usually have a drink when we go out somewhere for dinner). So we sit down and the server takes our drink orders. I order a cosmopolitan to encourage him to order something alcoholic, but lo and behold he orders a green tea. Argh!! So the poor waitress gives me a panicked look and leaves to get our drinks. So now I figure Chris will go wash his hands, since we get bread and olives at the table, and I can go talk to the server. Nope, he eats the stuff with his fork. So the server comes back with his tea and sets the beer stein in front of him. He looks at it strangely and reads the inscription "Chris, Will You Marry Me? Love Leah". I don't think I have ever seen someone looked so shocked-it was priceless. I'm tearing up and telling him he was SUPPOSED to order a beer...then he says "Of course I will". Eeeeeee! What a moment of elation. I scooted across the table and kissed him, which I also think shocked him because we aren't ones for PDA's. We had a fabulous dinner and a wonderfully romantic evening afterwards that went as I had planned.

So that's why I haven't slept in two weeks and have been so anxious. Now if everyone would just stop asking us when the big day is...Geesh, let us get used to this whole engaged thing first (we have only told 3 people so far and that was the first thing they asked)! My ring should get here by the end of the week or next after the sizing is done on it. It's an emerald (Chris' birth stone) surrounded by diamonds (my birth stone) so I am excited for it to arrive. Then we can get around to telling all the family and such. Eeeeee!

Aside from a lingering cough and a little congestion, the darn cold has finally lost its grip. I am so glad Friday has finally arrived, as it has been a trying week for me at work. Chris is coming out to have lunch with me today, so that will be a nice break.

I'm sorry I haven't posted much recently, but I have been in such emotional turmoil over the past two weeks that I am finding it hard to keep my thoughts organized. After Saturday, hopefully I can post about what has been causing me so much anxiety (and hopefully it comes to a happy resolution). Hopefully the weepiness will go away by then, too.

I don't have many people in my life that are close to me. Aside from Chris, my friend Elizabeth and my mom, I really have no one to talk to or confide in (and sometimes I can' talk to them because THEY are the cource of my distress). So I must give a huge thank you to Neicy and Kristi. Both of you have been wonderful, always giving me support and making me smile and letting me have a glimpse into your lives through your blogs. Who would have ever thought that two strangers, miles away, could offer you more friendship and kindness than the people around you everyday?

Here's a little chuckle for the day, since I think we all could use one. Fortunately, my cockatiel Lucky hasn't picked up any bad words from our TV habits...

New "half" siblings...

Bailey and Barney!

I spent nearly the entire weekend in bed with this horrid cold. I wish I was still in bed, because work has been pure hell this morning and I just don't have the patience for people today.

I got Mom moved on Thursday without too many hiccups. I haven't killed her yet, so that is a good thing.

Chris and I went out briefly on Saturday to visit my dad and see the new puppies. Barney and Bailey...they are beyond cute. I will post pictures of them later, but what I really wanted was to steal them and bring them home in my purse. Puppies just cheer you up with their love and exuberance.

Sore throat, sneezing, coughing...the cold in settling in my body. I despise being sick and I am fortunate enough to have it rarely happen. The funny thing is, the last time I got sick was four months ago when I moved my mother into her apartment. Kinda weird that I'm getting sick as I move her out of it.

Where's my peppermint tea, dammit! The shuttle driver was supposed to go to Tim Horton's over a half hour ago. My throat needs tea!!!! Thankfully I am off Thursday and Friday and then it's the long weekend. So five days of not having to talk to idiot customers will be wonderful. Now if I could just keep from killing my mother during those five days...

The weather is supposed to be really crappy on the weekend, with the remnants of Ernesto passing through. I'm not sure what I'm going to get up to, but it will probably involve going to Chris' frequently to get the hell out of my apartment. The big comicon is this weekend, but I don't think we can afford to go. I made a rather large purchase yesterday that I can hopefully talk about soon.

My posting will be erratic over the next few days, so I hope everyone has a great Labour day weekend!

Little Miss Sunshine. You must see this movie, it was great. The writing was awesome and the acting was top-notch. Lots of foul language, though (much like my own vocabulary...). It was the one bright spot in my week.

My mother will be back on my couch as of Thursday. She accepted by the CMHA in Chatham but they don't have anywhere available for her to live. They offered to put her up in a motel, but nooooo...she tells them she will stay with her daughter until they find a place. Which could bloody well take months. I cried all Friday afternoon...this is just killing me.

Hmmm, I need someone to stomp on like that. Pehaps our bonehead receptionist...

The housing people still have not called yet. My mother is so anxious that she is crying at the drop of a hat and can't stop shaking. You would think they would be somewhat sensitive to the fact they are dealing with a mentally ill person who has terrible anxiety (you know, being the Canadian Mental Health Association and all). I told Mom to call them if she didn't hear anything by 10:00 am. The waiting game is killing us.

Another sleepless night. The construction didn't stop until 10:45 last night and started right back up again at 5:45 this morning. With everything else going on, I just cannot sleep, even with sleeping pills. I feel like Fred Flintstone when he needed toothpicks to prop his eyes open because he was so tired :)

I think I'll head over to Mom's tonight and help with the packing. I keep putting it off but I might as well get it over with so I don't have to worry about it on the weekend. I'm debating going to see Little Miss Sunshine this weekend-I'll have to find out movie times and such. It looks like a great movie and I could use some comedy.

Yesterday was not good on the diet and exercise front. I am one of those people who eats when they are depressed. I'm finding it very hard not to give into my cravings right now, and yesterday afternoon I caved and devoured some chocolate. So I must force myself to get back in the saddle today, even though I feel like garbage. Why the heck can't chocolate be fat and carb free?

The chili was awesome last night. Chris made it with fresh jalapenos and veggie ground "beef". There are leftovers for dinner tonight-yum!

I was going to head over to Mom's tonight, but I don't think I feel up to it. I'll wait and go tomorrow or Friday to help her with packing. I think I'll just drop in to the comic book store then head home for a quiet night (well, as quiet as you can get right now with the blasted construction).

I think I am wearing the same expression as poor Garfield today, lol. It has been very quiet at work, which is a blessing in some ways but makes the day drag on forever. And someone is cooking something really good in the lunchroom, which is making stomach growl even worse. I smell bread...drool...

The wonderful construction workers were kind enough to stop banging around at 9:00 last night and let me sleep in until 6:00 this morning. I may not have to kill them all today (I realize it's not the workers fault, but they are the only visable targets).

The waiting game starts this afternoon, as the mental health people in Chatham are reviewing Mom's case. The worker said she would get back to Mom sometime between this afternoon and Thursday. I had to book next Thursday off work because one way or another, she has to move her stuff and I know there is no way she can afford the movers plus renting a car to drive herself. The movers alone will probably be $900 if the stuff has to go to Chatham. If she doesn't get accepted, we'll just put the stuff in storage here so it won't be as expensive to move it all. Hopefully that won't be the case, though...

I only worked out for a short period last night, as I was so wiped out and ached so bad from the day before I could barely stand. I lasted about 11 minutes while watching 90210 and then I had to stop before I fell over. I feel better today so I should be all set for Buffy tonight.

Chirs is coming for dinner tonight and is going to make me veggie chili. He makes the best chili and all the ingredients that go into it I can have on my diet, so woohoo!

I really don't like Mondays

Man, am I in rough shape today. It took me about ten minutes just to remember what I did on Saturday. The phone has rang off the hook today at work, but thankfully no one has been too demanding or I would have bitten their heads off (great customer service happening today...)

On Saturday it rained all day so going to look at cars for Chris was out of the question. We went bowling instead and had a really good steak dinner. I got home Saturday night to find some moron parked in my parking spot, which got my blood boiling. By the time I settled down and fell asleep it was 1:30 am.

Sunday morning, 5:15 am. Loud banging noises and the delightful sound of trucks and bulldozers backing up (you know, that bloody beeping sound) wake me up. They are replacing the culverts on the street directly in front of my apartment, which I knew, but 5;15 in the freaking morning?!? I was so mad and felt so sick from not getting enough sleep, I just wanted to cry. So going to comic convention was out, as I really wasn't up for the drive so we just went mini golfing and took a nap. How thrilling...

The construction started right back up at 5:30 this morning, so it looks like it will be a week of lousy sleep. If it gets much worse, I may have to go stay at Chris' and just come home to check on the birds.

On a positive note, I did my workout with Buffy every day except Thursday when I went out with Elizabeth. I hadn't planned on doing it on the weekends, but I wanted to watch the next episode of Buffy so bad I couldn't help myself!

I am barely coherent right now, so I may not post until later today or tomorrow. I hope everyone had a great weekend.

It's Friday! Whoopee! I cannot wait to sleep in tomorrow morning after all the sleeplessness this week. I missed Buffy last night, as I didn't get back from dinner until 9 o'clock and I was afraid working out before I went to bed would keep me up. I should have bloody well done it since I couldn't sleep anyway.

Dinner with Elizabeth was good. I had skinless chicken with mushrooms and salad, so I stuck to my diet. My only cheat was the teeniest bite of her cheesecake, just enough for a taste. I love cheesecake. It should be a food group of its own. After dinner I took her to Walmart, since no one in her family drives and the bus doesn't go as far as Walmart, so she only gets to go when I take her. They were out of everything I wanted! No flavoured water, no Crystal Light singles, no Avantage dinners...I was so pissed! The shelves all around the store looked like they had been ransacked. Very disappointing trip.

My dad called me last night on his way home from work. He had left early to go home and cut the grass because the grass was taller than the puppies. OMG, PUPPIES?? He is going tonight to pick up the two new Yorkshire Terrier puppies they bought. They are two little boys named Barney and Bailey. I cannot wait to see them! My stepmother had two Yorkies previously, Buffy and Corky. They had to be put down a couple of years ago (16 & 17 years old, respectively) and it broke my stepmother's heart. They were such awesome dogs, so I'm sure these new additions will bring lots of fun and excitement.

Knights of the Star Trek

For my fellow Trek fans...not to mention Monty Python fans!

That is so me! I get grumpy when I'm dieting, as all I want are large quantities of carbs and sugar. The third night of Buffy watching went well, and I have felt delightfully achy from head to toe for the past three days. It's good ache, let's me know that my body is being used in ways is hasn't for a looong time.

I have to go out for dinner with my friend Elizabeth tonight, so ordering will be a challenge. Maybe we can go to Swiss Chalet or Red Lobster, where they will have some lean meats and veggies. I've cut out diet pop for the most part, so it will nice to treat myself to a Diet Coke (going from 3 or 4 a day to none has been an adjustment!).

Tomorrow's Friday-yay! There is a comic convention this weekend on Sunday In Toronto that I wouldn't mind going to check out. It's only $5.00 to get in, which is cool. The big one coming up Labour Day weekend is $20 a day to get in, so I'm not sure if it's in the budget.

Long day...

Five hours of driving just blows. I feel so wiped, since I was so worked up last night I barely got any sleep. Early to bed tonight with a healthy dose of ativan, I think.

The intake interview with the Chatham-Kent Mental Health Housing went well. I am glad I was there with her, because my mother cannot be objective about her mental condition. The worker said she was going to recommend Mom get placed within their system and would present her case to the directors on Tuesday. She is supposed to get back to Mom by Wednesday or Thursday to let her know if she has been approved. Please, please, please let her be approved...
Then it will be a matter of them finding her a place to live in a week. Talk about a tight timeline.

I have to show you the flowers Chris brought me yesterday-they are so pretty and different with the colours.

This one is for Kristi & Chris...

Episode 1 of Buffy down. I lasted 25 minutes at a good pace on the Gazelle before I was ready to pass out. I figure it will take a few weeks to get to the full 45 minutes, so I'll just a few minutes each day. it was hilarious watching Buffy, though-they were all so young! I am really looking forward to getting through these episodes and reliving all the Buffy goodness.

I drank almost 4 litres of water yesterday. That's just over a gallon in US terms. I felt like I was swishing when I walked! Not to mention our work only has one women's bathroom and I swear someone was in it everytime I had to go. When it's time to renovate this dealership, my first request will be a staff bathroom for the women (there are 10 of us, for heaven's sake!). It's always fun when there is a line-up of us outside the bathroom, hopping around doing the pee-pee dance. I've already had a litre so far today...

Monday again. Yeehaw. Can't you feel my incredible enthusiasm for being back at work?

It was a very quiet weekend. Chris and I went out on Saturday to look at a couple of cars for him, but no luck. We went to Kelsey's for dinner and pigged out on all sorts of yummy food and then had a quiet night at home. On Sunday I ventured out to Walmart to pick up some food and tote containers. I then putzed about the apartment, packing up glasswear that is collecting dust and filing all my bills and paperwork. Not very exciting, to say the least.

I did unbury my Gazelle, so I am all set for my first episode of Buffy and my workout. I also found my dumbbells, so I can use them too. I started using Fitday.com again, which is an online food and exercise diary. It's a good way to keep track of what you are eating and it breaks it all down for you into fats, carbs, protein, etc. Plus it's free, which is always a bonus.

I have to take the day off work Wednesday to drive my mother to Chatham for an intake interview for housing. It's a 2.5 hour drive there, so I am really dreading it. Plus I have a bad feeling about the whole thing. They were supposed to let her know last week whether she had an apartment or not but now they want to do an intake, which should have been done at the beginning of the application process. I just know she is going ot be back on my bloody couch come September 1st. It is almost exactly a year from the last time she moved in, and that lasted 7 months. Ugh. Hopefully my gut feeling is wrong and it all works out, but I don't hink my karma is that good.

Name origins. I always love going through baby name books and seeing what people's names mean. My first name means "weary" and my middle name means "bitter" in Hebrew. My last name means "foreigner or stranger" in Old French. So I am a weary, bitter stranger. Go figure. How about you?

A good site for last names is here: http://genealogy.about.com/library/surnames/bl_meaning.htm

First names: http://www.name-meanings.com/

I hope you haven't seen this before-it's awesome! It's worth sitting throught the six minutes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ozp8Cnnpt0Q

As Garfield once said,"Diet is DIE with a T". I have got to get back on the diet and exercise wagon that I fell off of (again). I'm not healthy, and need to kick my ass into gear before I wind up diabetic.

I think I have a good plan for the exercise part, which is always the hardest for me (I am such a couch potato). I have one of those Gazelle gliders, which is really fun to use and easy on my knees. I just bought all seven seasons of Buffy, so my plan is this: each day when I get home from work, I pop in one episode of Buffy and use the Gazelle while I watch. This will give me about 45 minutes on the Gazelle each day (I can fo 30 minutes now, so it may take a bit to work up to the 45). I figure it will give me something to watch that I enjoy that will distract me from the boredom of exercise. The plan is to start Monday, after I clear up some space in the living room (ie. my mom's leftover crap and the previously mentioned hanging underwear). I know I can do it, I just have to want it bad enough to stick to it. Maybe I need a battlecry like Evelyn in Fried Green Tomatoes-TOWANDA!!

Insomnia is not fun...

My friend and co-worker Karey is leaving for Mexico on Monday to get married to her long-time beau. I am so excited for her (and more than a little jealous!). I bought her the Boyd's Bearstone pictured here. I know she and her fiancee have a small collection of them, plus Karey knows how much I love Boyd's so hopefully she will think of me whenever she looks at it.

My Boyd's collection is quite large, between my mother buying them for me over the years and buying a ton of them myself off Ebay. I just love all the detail that goes into these adorable little bears. I have two display cabinets full of the little critters. My favourites are probably the Christmas ones!

This one is for Neicy!

Bah! Mothers. Can't live with them, can't kill them. I had best stop here, because I will go off on a huge rant. Grrr.

I had a pretty quiet evening last night. Six loads of laundry, so my apartment has clothes hanging from every available space as I only have an apartment-sized washing machine and no dryer. The upside is everywhere in the place smells like yummy fabric softener. That's the best part about laundry day :). The downside is there is a rack with my underwear drying on it right smack in the middle of the living room (it's the only available open space). Thankfully I don't get many visitors!

Lucky has had all of his flights feathers grow back, so he is flapping happily about the apartment. Hopefully Gypsy's will grow back in as quickly. The vet seemed to think it was their diet that made them lose the feathers. Here's the thing: I had converted both cockatiels to a pellet diet and they had been on them for two years. When my mother moved in last fall, the birds were out all day and kept going into my budgie's cage and eating all her seed. Mom made the brilliant decision to just start giving them all seed (which is basically like feeding your kids cake and candy all day-it's fat and carbs). Now it is just as much my fault, as I should have put my foot down with her, but it wasn't worth another argument. So back on seed they went, which has resulted in Gypsy's egg-laying and the feather-plucking. So for the past two weeks I have been working to get them all on pellets. The cockatiels have warmed up to them and are eating but Toby refuses to touch the pellets. I have mixed them in with her seed, tried them on their own... she just keeps picking them up and throwing them on the floor. When I come home, Toby bangs her food dish against the side of cage, as if to say 'Hey, woman, what's this junk in my bowl? Gimme the good stuff!". Ugh, they are worse than children some days :p

Another long weekend that flew by in an instant. Still, it was great not being at work for three days with how turbulent the atmosphere is around here.

Saturday was pretty quiet. I was in a grumpy mood that I just couldn't shake. I had dinner with Chris, his dad and his sister then we went mini-golfing. On Sunday I took my mom grocery shopping and brought her back to my place for lunch. We spent the afternoon watching home improvement shows and enjoying the air conditioning. On Monday, Chris and I went to a conservation area in Rockwood and went paddleboating. That was fun, although the park was insanely packed.

Now back to the grind today...

I'm melting, meltiiiinnng...The air conditioning broke down here at work, so it's a little toasty. Thank heavens I have a fan in my office. Our showroom is 90 degrees! I think the receptionist may wilt away, but that really wouldn't be a bad thing since she is such a tool.

So the bill for the car...$857.00. Quite the difference from $450.00, eh? When you are reduced to laughing hysterically at all that is going on, I not sure that is a good thing. Chris and I were supposed to have a quiet evening alone last night, but lo and behold his sister decides not to go into work AGAIN so that put the kibosh on that.

I have to pick my mother up from the train station tonight. She's been gone 9 days and the first thing she will ask me is if I missed her. Ummm, no? Sorry, but a break from dealing with her was needed desperately. Hopefully she managed to get some housing issues sorted out because I will go off the deep end if she is back on my couch by August 31st. Not to mention Chris will go ballistic.

On a good note, I had some gift certificates for Future Shop (an electronics store) so I went shopping yesterday. I picked up the special edition of "V For Vendetta", which is an awesome movie. I also got "The Chosen Collection", which is all seven seasons of Buffy! For only $139.99!!! I am so psyched to start watching them. Joss Whedon is the master. Now I just need the first four seasons of Angel and I will have the complete Whedon collection. I am such a geek :p

I despise Mondays, but nothing is worse than a Monday after you've been away. I am the only one who knows how to do my job, so the stack of work is spooky.

Last week was really awful. I didn't get my car back until Thursday afternoon because of a series of screwups and miscommunications (I now understand why our customers get so crabby if this is the type of service they receive). So from Monday afternoon to Thursday afternoon I stared at my four walls since Chris' car is out of commission and it was too freaking hot to walk anywhere. I am waiting for my boss to bring me the service bill sometime today. It will at least be $700.00, way more than they originally told me.

The weather was outrageous for the remainder of the week, with it either being horrendously hot or thunderstorms like none I have ever seen. So that kind of killed the canoeing plans we had. We went to Vaughan Mills mall-the Bass Pro Shops Outdoor World was really cool, but otherwise there wasn't really anything unique there (plus going to a mall when you are broke sucks).

Gypsy seems to be doing okay, although she is really frustrated with the darn cone on her head. I feel so sorry for her-cockatiels love to preen and she is going nuts not being able to make herself pretty. Her brother keeps snapping at her and chasing her away because she makes him nervous with the collar, so she is like a little pariah in birdyland. It's so sad to watch her waddle around on the floor, and most of the time I find her standing at my feet with this forlorn look on her face, so I end up carrying her around with me. The doctor wants to keep the collar on for two more months, but I'm afraid she'll get too depressed. I'm going to monitor her over the next week or so and see if she gets any happier.

I am cursed. I am three days into my vacation and it has turned into the Holiday from Hell.

On Saturday morning, I got up and let my three birds out of their cages. My female cockatiel, Gypsy, flies out of her cage and promptly falls to the floor. I notice all her flight feathers are missing from one wing, which is strange because her brother also lost his flight feathers on one wing last week. So I go to grab her and she flutters across the floor. As she flaps her wings, blood spatters in all directions. I totally freak out and scoop her up. The tip of her wing is bleeding profusely, obviously a broken blood feather. I hold on to her and apply pressure to the wing, which does not pelase Gypsy in the least and she squirms like mad. I call the vets, because their wings won't clot and they can quickly bleed to death. They schedule me in for the early afternoon and I pack Gypsy in the travel cage and take off. It is raining buckets so the underpass leading to the highway is flooded. I turn around and take a long way around to the highway and head to the vets, which is about 45 minutes away (there are no avian vets in my area, which stinks). I call Chris and he offers to come with me so I pick him up along the way. At the vets, there is of course the least experienced vet on duty with it being a Saturday. He takes a look at her wing, which has stopped bleeding by this point. He can't see any evidence of mites or anything that would have caused both birds to yank out their feathers. He decides that she needs to be fitted with a collar so she can't pick at her wing. He also prescribes an antibiotic and pain killer (which makes no sense since she did not appear to be in any pain). So, that trip cost me $150.00. All of my vacation money. And now I have to take her back tomorrow, which will be another $60, which will leave me with not one penny to my name. End of the first calamity.

Then today I pick my mom up to take her to the train station to go visit family in Windsor. When she gets in the car she comments that she smells gas. I figure it's the car in front of me and we carry on. When we get out of the car we still smell gas, but have to get going to catch the train. When I leave the station, I I have a bit of trouble starting me car, but it gets going and I head home. When I get home, I get down and look under my car. Drip, drip, drip. You can clearly see fuel leaking. I rush upstairs and call work, since I work for a car dealership. They aren't busy so I rush down there to have them take a look. The fuel line has rusted out and since it lies right between the brake lines, they will break when you go to repair the fuel line because the car is older and the brake lines are rusty. $475.00. There goes most of my next paycheque since I will have to charge this to my staff account since I have no bloody money. End of calamity number two.

So no money, no trip to the cottage and no car for a couple of days. And a bird with a cone on her head, so I have to hand feed her because she can't get into her food bowls. Can I curl up in a corner and cry now?

Suddenly Monday appears again...

It was a pretty good weekend, despite the scorching heat. Chris sent me to the spa for a facial on Saturday, so that was an awesome treat. It was incredibly relaxing. We were going to go mini golfing Saturday night, but it was just too hot. We went out to look at a car for Chris on Sunday and I swear I almost melted. Today is supposed to go up to over 45 degrees with the humidex!

Four more sleeps until holiday time. Yay!!

Woot! Friday! Work is buying me lunch and it's slow around here, so it's a good day. My office is starting to look like a storage room with all the golf prizes piling up. I head our company's Social Committee and am organizing our staff golf tournament for July 23rd. I'm on vacation that week but since the only other two members of the committee are on vacation as well and don't do a heck of a lot, so I'm on my own. I don't golf so the day tends to consist of me running about like I'm on fire trying to keep things organized.

Mom is off to her followup appointment with her psychiatrist today. Hopefully all goes well. She seems to be doing pretty good and the lithium has calmed her down. Having things be quiet over the last week has been a good thing for me. Hopefully Chris and I can sneak away to the cottage for a few days when I'm on vacation to get away from it all.

Holy hot weather, Batman! It is supposed to be over 40 degrees with the humidex each day. I know a lot of people love this weather but I can't stand it. Chris can't breathe with his athsma so we can't do anything outdoors and I hate dripping with sweat. We had a the power go out at work the other day because a transformer blew--it's happening all over the city with the huge amount of hydro use. I hope we don't ever have anything happen again like the blackout of 2003, but with how hot it is, it wouldn't surprise me.

The heatwave from one of the lower pits of hell finally broke. The humidity left you feeling soggy all day. I really am not looking forward to my next hydro bill, as it should be astronomical with how much the air conditioners have been running. The humidity is supposed to return by the weekend, but at least we get a short reprieve.

My mom has been back home in her apartment since Saturday morning. I picked her up from the hospital on Thursday and kept her at my place for a couple of days before taking her home. So far, she seems to be managing okay with no mention of any "harrassment" from "them". When I asked her yesterday if she was hearing anything, she told me no so hopefully that is the truth. The lithium seems to be helping level her out, so keep your fingers crossed that she can stay this way for a while so I can get some peace.

The long weekend was fairly uneventful. Chris and I went to see Superman Returns on Sunday, which was pretty cool. We were supposed to go canoeing on Monday, but it was so hot and humid that Chris' asthma couldn't handle it. I have to work this Saturday, so hopefully we can go the following weekend.

Oh, how I despise Mondays. Especially after a delightful night of tossing and turning with a horrid headache and neckache. Customers are just in rare form today (I swear it's like they know you are not in the mood to deal with idiocy and manage to be as idiotic as humanly possible). Thankfully next week is a short week with the Canada Day holiday.

The visit with Mom on Saturday was just fantastic, as well (the sarcasm practically drips off the computer screen, doesn't it?). She basically believes that the only reason she is in the hospital is because I hoodwinked the doctor into admitting. She just has no awareness of her illness when it comes to the paranoia and delusions and that is a really scary propect. If they cannot provide some sort of therapy to help her change her behaviours and thought patterns, she is never going to get better. ECT and drugs will not "cure" this. The urge to just through my hands in the air and give up and leave her to her own devices is overwhelming. Visiting her just puts me in such an emotional slump that is really hard to pull out of.

Thank goodness Friday is finally here. It has been impossible to sleep this week (thankfully I have had some great books to read) so I plan on taking a pill tonight and crashing out. I talked to Mom last night and she sounded pretty good. She apologized for her behaviour on Friday, which was nice that she actually is taking some responsibility for her actions. The doctor has bumped up her lithium, so we will have to see how that works out. She is scheduled to start the ECT treatments again on Monday if there is still no improvement in her delusions. I am going to head out to visit her on Saturday and hopefully that goes well.

I am hoping the weather is decent this weekend so I can use the pool at Chris' house. It is definitely cooler today after the ridiculous heat and humidity yesterday. We were supposed to have a Social Club meeting last night (I head the committee) but one of the girls had other plans so we had to cancel. I was so looking forward to a night out (not to mention the Firecracker Shrimp Bowtie Pasta at East Side Mario's!) but c'est la vie.

Just when you think things couldn't get any worse...well, you should never think that because it usually does get worse.

The past four days have been pure hell. On Friday night, my mother disowned me and threw me out of her apartment, as she flew into such a rage when I told her the people she heard yelling at her were in her head (I was standing right beside her and she could hear the voices but it was silent in the apartment). So I had to alert all the family to check in with her regularly because she wanted nothing to do with me.

Come Saturday afternoon, I guess she felt bad, plus she needed cigarettes so she invited me over to talk. Again when confronted about her delusions, she became frighteningly enraged. Then two seconds later she calm. She threatened suicide to me and several family members, but refused to let me take her to the emergency psych department. I agreed to wait until Tuesday and go with her to her psychiatrist's appointment to see what he would do with her. My uncle came up and took her out on Sunday, which gave me a small reprieve.

Yesterday, we took her to her appointment. The doctor listening to everything and told her she needed to go back into the hospital. She resisted at first, but agreed to be admitted. I put 300 kms on my car yesterday running back and forth to get her clothes and stuff. When I got home, I looked into her finances and discovered she had spent all her money on crap from Ebay, leaving no funds for the two cheques I know are coming out of her account. Now I have to figure out a way to come up with the money to cover them. Plus she decided to give her notice at her apartment building, so now we have to figure out living arrangements for her within the next two months.

I have reached the end of my emotional rope. I literally have had about 15 hours sleep in the past week and have been in abdominal agony with my nerves being so bad. I really don't know what to do, as there is no support. She has no family members near by, the health care system is being less than helpful and I don't have the money to pay for any kind of help. My performance at work is suffering, my relationship with Chris is really being put through the wringer and my own mental health is failing. The urge to run out into the middle of the street with a big sign saying "HELP!" is overwhelming.

The heat has arrived again. And Mom does not have an AC unit at her place, so last night was horrendous for trying to sleep. Plus she has no curtains so at 5:00 am I was up with the rising sun (bearing in mind the last time I saw the clock before falling asleep was 1:45 am). I also woke up to the most awful burning smell. I walk into the kitchen and there is a pot of eggs on high heat that has boiled dry and the eggshells have exploded. Mom must have put them on last night and forgot about them. Her short-term memory is really bad since the ECT treatments. I have to keep calling her to remind her to take her meds, for heaven's sake. Hopefully tonight goes better and then I am definitely spending Saturday night in my apartment so I can try and sleep in on Sunday. Bah, I said that last Sunday and ended up going shopping at Walmart at 8:00 am. Oh, well.

Well, Mom's been cut loose and is currently occupying my couch. Again. But tomorrow I am shipping her back over to her apartment before she gets too damn comfortable. I will stay over at her place for a night or two, but if she is well enough to be released from the hospital, she should be able to take care of herself. She has to go back to the psychiatrist's on a weekly basis for the timebeing. Cross your fingers for me that she stays sane for a while so I can get some peace. And so poor Chris can get some peace, too. He is so depressed right now and so up in the air with what he wants to do with his life. Trying to be supportive of both him and Mom is, well...trying. Mom can be more than a little selfish in demanding my time, so I think I need to be much more assertive in telling her NO sometimes. I am just such a damn pushover, I find it hard to deny those close to me anything. And right now I am emotionally paying a big price. But that is what chocolate is for, right?

I need a vacation from my life. Or at least from my mother and my job. I worked Saturday morning and then Chris and I drove to Brantford to see Mom. She was in a good mood, but the paranoia and delusions are still just as evident as the day she entered the hospital. And she is trying her damnedest to get the shrink to release her today. There has been no improvement! She still thinks these "people" who started harrassing her and plotting against her at her old apartment have followed her to her new apartment and to the hospital. She wants to set up recording equipment in her apartment, for christ's sake. If that doctor lets her out, I really think I will go totally nuts. Guaranteed, within hours of her return to her apartment, she would be calling me to come get her out of there. Not this time. If she can't manage on her own at home, then she needs to be in the hospital or a home. I am thirty years old, trying to build my own life. I am not going to put my entire life on hold to take care of her-it's just not fair.

in other interesting news, Chris' sister got engaged after dating this guy for eight months. Eight months! Chris and I will be celebrating our eight YEAR anniversary of dating in November! I really am beginning to develop a complex, as everyone around me is getting hitched. Am I not marrying material? Or maybe Chris is just a bloody procratinator and is dawdling along at his own pace. Which is enough to drive a girl nuts. let me tell ya. Hello, over here is a woman who loves you and wants nothing else more in the world than to spend the rest of her life with you! Perhaps I should take out a billboard. Okay, I need to end this rant because, well, they tend to get me in trouble.

Mom has undergone two ECT treatments as of yesterday. There is an improvement in her general mood, but absolutely no difference in the psychosis. She still is delusional so it will be interesting to see if any further ECT seesions help or if the psychiatrist will have to look down a different avenue for treatment. She is still adamant about not returning to her apartment, but she sure as hell is not moving back in with me. The previous seven-month visit damned near drove me over the edge myself and I can't be put in that situation again. Sooner or later my wellbeing has to come before hers.

It's going to be a long work week as I have to work Saturday (with Richie the nimrod to top it off). Then I'll head out to Brantford after work on Saturday for another visit with Mom. I may elect to not even get out of bed on Sunday with how wiped out I am feeling. I hate taking something to help me sleep, but I may not have a choice soon.

I haven't been to the comic book store in over three weeks, so it should be about $60 by the time I walk out of there. Which is good thing, since at least I'll have lots to read while I lie in bed on Sunday.

Yesterday was a heck of a lot of fun. We met with mom and her psychiatrist to discuss the ECT treatments. I was still up in the air about it, but I also wasn't too thrilled with the cocktail of drugs she would be on as the other option (lithium, risperidone, effexor and remeron). After meeting with my mother on her own, however, it became glaringly apparent that she needs serious help quickly.

Her mental state has actually deteriorated since entering the hospital-she thinks "they" have followed her to the hospital, that she wants to hire private investigators because she is being "framed", the chocolates Chris brought her had been tampered with so she threw them out...it goes on. She wanted to undergo the treatment and Chris and I agreed that would probably stand a better chance of success, not to mention work quicker, which is important given the extreme mental duress she's under. So we left at 6:00, with her in okay shape and me coming back to visit Sunday (my cousins are coming Saturday to keep her company that day).

At about 8:15 last night, my phone rings. It's Mom, and she wants out of the hospital NOW. The other patients are "out to get her", abusing her and the nursing staff are all in on it. She demanded I come get her and when I refused she hung up on me. Five minutes later, she calls again, demanding I call the police and get her out. I tell her no, that she needs to be there to get help but there is absolutely no reasoning with her in this state. She pretty much told me off and said it was nice knowing me and hung up.

That's the last I have heard from her. I am afraid she will start refusing treatment. I spoke with her nurse this morning and so far she is refusing to leave her room and being quite difficult. I will have to check with the psychiatrist this afternoon to make sure the ECT is still scheduled for Monday. If things don't settle down soon, I may end up in the room next to her.

I so beyond stressed out right now. I haven't gotten a decent night's sleep since Mom went into the hospital on Friday, so I am starting to fray a little at the edges. And with the 200 km return trip the hospital, all my money is being sucked into my gas tank so food is a little scarce as well. Hopefully I can manage to get in a good dinner tonight after the meeting.

We meet with the psychiatrist this afternoon, as his recommended treatment at this point is electroconvulsive therapy. This scares the hell out of me, no matter how much I read about it. Mom seems to be okay with it and so is Aunt Lois. I am just waiting to hear back from Uncle Al, as he visited her last night and was going to read the literature the doctor left about ECT. My major concern is he will want to do bilateral ECT, which is the most harmful to your memory, although it has the better success rate. Perhaps scared was an understatement-I am bloody terrified about having her undergo this procedure. I realize it is a much safer procedure now than it was years ago (anyone remember One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?), but it still freaks me out. If we all agree to the treatment, she'll have her first session Monday morning, then repeating on Wednesday and Friday for at least a couple of weeks.

For someone who tends to avoid her family (aside from my parents) this week has been strange because I have had to speak with my relatives on a regular basis. I barely know these people anymore, having barely seen my mom's side of the family in the last 12 years. It's very strange, because I feel so disconnected from them yet we are talking about something as intimate as my mother's treatment and well-being. Sometimes I wish I had a family like Chris', that is comprised of all of 11 people (that's both sides!), including himself. I have 7 uncles and 17 cousins alone on my dad's side, so my family is freaking huge. Which is probably why I avoid them, because I hate large social gatherings. I will probably regret it someday, but I can't concern myself with it right now.

It has officially been four of the worst days EVER.

My mother had to be admitted to the psych ward after I took her to the psychiatrist's Friday afternoon. She had been extremely paranoid all week and was having auditory delusions (ie. hearing people talking about her, laughing at her, whistling although she was alone in her apartment). The doctor admitted her Friday night and I don't think I have ever felt so horrible when I had to leave her there. She looked so scared. Since being at the hospital, they have started giving her anti-psychotics, which should help with the delusions-she is hearing "them" (these mysterious people who are out to get her) at the hospital, especially in the quiet of her room. It's very frightening.

So Chris' birthday was a bust, although dinner turned out nicely. X-Men 3 was really good, but not as good as the 2nd movie. Lord of the Rings was fantastic-amazing sets and imagery. But everything was overshadowed by the problems with my mom, so I really didn't enjoyit all as much as I would have liked.

Sure, now it's sunny and warm. Just wait, because I'm off on Friday it's going to piss down rain. It's Chris' birthday tomorrow, so I have to bake his carrot cake tonight and do some prep work for dinner. I'm making stuffed pasta shells and grilled portobello mushrooms. I'm taking him to the Nascar Speedpark at Vaughan Mills on Friday, so I really hope the weather cooperates. We go to see Lord of the Rings on Saturday, plus we are trying to squeeze in a midnight showing of X-Men The Last Stand. What a crazy week, but it's nice to be busy.

On the calendar, they really should put that the Victoria Day Weekend is utterly useless, as the weather always sucks and you can't do anything outdoors. To the many fools who went camping, I pity you (but with enough booze in you, I guess you wouldn't notice the cold). As always, it was cold and ridiculously windy all stinking weekend.

I went to my father's for a BBQ Saturday night (which we had to spend indoors) as a few of my aunts and uncles were visiting. We found out that my grandmother had been admitted to the hospital for blood loss after her angiogram (they discovered she had two ulcers which started bleeding profusely). A few hours later, her sister (my great-aunt Lois) was admitted with a major heart attack. I really didn't get any sense of urgency from anyone so I assumed Aunt Lois would be recovering. My father phoned me today to tell me she passed away Sunday morning. I was so shocked-I realize Aunt Lois was 82 but she maintained a pretty active lifestyle. She has been my grandma's rock since my grandfather passed away from Alzheimer's a couple of years ago. I feel so bad for Grandma, who is going to be a while recovering herself, as being a Jehovah's Witness she wouldn't take a blood transfusion (this drives me nuts, but I have to respect her decision and her faith). I hope she comes along okay.

The majority of my weekend was spent watching season 2 of Roswell. I'm almost done and can't wait to start season 3. The final Idol episodes are this week, so I can't wait to see who wins. My bets are on Taylor, as his personality is infectious and everyone seems to love him.

More rain! How delightful. I got absolutely soaked carrying my new air conditioner out of Home Depot this morning. Only $89! Can't beat that deal on a Maytag air conditioner. Because the hot weather will be here before we know it. Honest.

I finally got to see Chris last night after his excursion up to the cottage. He bought me the most gorgeous bouquet of hot pink chrysanthemums (sp?). I always miss him so much when he is away, so it was awesome to see him.

It was very sad to see Elliott go home last night. Hopefully some opportunities open up for him with that amazing voice of his. I will just die if Taylor wins-I really like him, but Simon will flip out if he has to market some gray-haired guy as the new Americal Idol.

I started reading the novelization of "X-men The Last Stand" last night. I know this will totally spoil the whole movie for me, but I just have to know what is going to happen. For all I know they will totally change the ending like they did with "X2" and I will still be surprised at the movie.

Blah. What a yucky weekend. I had to work Saturday, which was crazy because we were short on technicians. I bought Mom a microwave, Mr. Clean magic wand and Swiffer sweeper for her birthday/Mother's Day. I also took her grocery shopping, and not surprisingly she did not have enough money for them so that cost me $70 out of pocket. I don't mind helping her out, but she needs to manage her money a little better at times. I miss Chris- I despise it when he goes away. I taped Trailer Park Boys for him, so that should make him happy. I picked him up the fifth season of TPB on DVD for his birthday. I can't say I'm a huge fan of the show, although Ricky cracks me up. Four more days till the long weekend!!

Okay, I had to run around like a chicken with its head lopped off this morning to get a certified check and have it to my insurance brokers this morning for 9:00 am. Damn you straight to hell, Sunoco, for doing this to me. The damned ceritifed cheque cost $10, plus I had to spend $10 on the adorable little teddy bear they were selling in the bank for Children's Miracle Network (okay, maybe I didn't have to, but it was darn cute).

I've scheduled my appointment to write my test for Georgian College/OMVIC on Monday, so I better get my ass in gear and study. I'm not quite sure what I will do with my certification, but at least it's something else under my belt.

I found out our new receptionist slash sales managers' slave-girl has a higher bloody salary than mine, so I am royally pissed about that. I may have to talk to our GM, as I haven't worked here 5 years to be out-paid by this woman.

I have to work tomorrow, which sucks. I so need to sleep in. Sunday won't be remotely relaxing as I will be running Mom about most of the day. At least next weekend is the long weekend.

Okay, did you know when you pay with a credit card at gas pumps, they put a $100-125 hold on your card for 5 days? And this will completely fuck up any other transactions on your card if you are unaware of this authorization hold? Bloody bastards at the stations should be obligated to post this on the pumps so the public is AWARE of this. My insurance payment bounced and I think my damned insurance is going get cancelled. This is not making for a very good day.

It's pissing down rain, so that isn't helping my mood either. Chris is going up north until Tuesday, which really sucks as it was sprung on me unexpectedly. I hate it when he goes away, it sets me on edge. At least my time will be occupied this weekend with working Saturday and Mother's Day on Sunday.

I warned Chris I may have to ditch him for my local comic book store owner--he saved me a copy of the FCDB X-Men/Runaways comic, so that was very cool. The last issue of Deadly Genesis came out, which tied everything up about the thrid Summers brother pretty well. Only two more weeks until the X-men movie and Lord of the Rings!!

No more Chris on "AI"!!! I was so shocked to see him voted off. I thought for sure Katherine was going home. I was thankful Elliott did well in the voting, but I am shell-shocked about Chris. With his talent, hopefully Fuel with come through with their offer to make him lead singer.

No more Paris. I was sad to see her go, but it definitely was not a surprise. I took Mom out shopping again last night to look at TVs and furniture. Not knowing I would be going out last night, I wore my new suede pumps and I swear my feet are going to bloody well fall off today. I think I'm going to pass on the comic book store this week, as Deadly Genesis 6 is out next week and I might as well wait for that. I'm debating picking up the recent issues of Y:TLM, but sticking to the trade paperbacks makes them a heck of a lot easier to store ( just the titles I'm picking up now seem to be taking up too much space!). I think I will go out on my lunchhour today and start cleaning the interior on my car-the previous owner kept the thing immaculate so I want to maintain the condition of my new baby.

Damn weekend went by waaaay too fast. Chris and I went mini golfing on Saturday, although the wind was a little frigid. I took Mom shopping at Walmart yesterday, where I think she bought half the flipping contents of the store. Spent the rest of my time cleaning house and doing laundry. Not very thrilling, to say the least. I am seriously flat broke until the 7th, so this should be a pretty uneventful week. "Idol" should be good this week, with each of the contestants performing two songs. I'm not sure who I want to win, since I really like Chris, Elliott and Taylor. I think Paris will go home this week, unless she does something spectacular tomorrow.

A few dollars at the comic book store? Yeah, right. It cost me $35 for 7 comics. This hobby can be bloody expensive. I was very happy that he tracked down Runaways #13 for me, though. I went to bed at 8:00 last night. I swear, this cold has kicked the living hell out of me. Thank god I rarely get sick. They laid off our shop foreman yesterday, as the department is losing money in a big way. I'm not sure if laying Mike off was a decent solution, but it certainly sets an ominous tone around here.

Dinner with Elizabeth went well last night. We had shrimp at Red Lobster and went shopping afterwards. She got me season2 of Roswell, Harry Potter & TGOF, two pairs of earrings, some candles and some candy. The car purchase has left me completely broke, so I think it's going to be a quiet couple of weeks, especially with Chris & Mom's birthdays coming up, as well as Mother's Day. I will have to spend a few dollars at the comic book store today though, as the new Astonishing X-men and Runaways come out today.

Well, Mom is all moved in to her new apartment. Now if I could just stay away from there for a while, life would be good. I hooked up her internet yesterday and already she's having computer problems so I can see this will be fun. I have been sicker than a dog since last Wednesday, so any scheduled alone time with Chris has gone all to hell. I might as well be a bloody nun. The new car is awesome--it is so great being mobile again without having to always rely on someone else. I'm having my birthday dinner with Elizabeth tonight so I'm looking forward to that.

Well, Sunday was the big day. I am now officially old. It went by without much fanfare, although Chris and I had a fabulous meal at Canyon Creek Chophouse. He got me tickets to the LOTR stage show, which sounds awesome. I have always wanted to go to a theatrical production like this, so I'm very excited. I bought a car this week and am just waiting for insurance confirmation so I can get the darn thing licensed. It's 1995 Honda Accord in mint condition. In other good news, Mom is moving out tomorrow into her new apartment downtown. I cannot wait to have my home all to myself again. It has been a long seven months of sharing 750 square feet with your mother.

Woot! I managed to score a vehicle for a week starting next Thursday, so I will be fully mobile once again. Just in time for the big 3-0, which is approaching at an alarming rate. Been a fun week at home, with some minor scuffles with my maternal roommate. Got my first 6 volumes of Fables and have read the first three. I must say, I really like this series and am glad I forked out the money for them. Off to my LCS for the first time in about three weeks, so I should have lots of reading ahead of me. I bought Daniel Powter's album off of Itunes and I just love it. Another talented Canuck!